Friday, July 31, 2009

Video killed the Picture of the day

The video and audio don't sync up, but that's okay.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Video killed the Picture of the day

If this product is efficient, all hookers would have arms that looked like Madonna's. So this disproves the theory. Plus, the "prestigious California university" that they speak of, I'm pretty sure, is either DeVry or ITT Tech.

I love how they say for women only. I'm surprised that they don't have a penis head rubber piece that you can slip onto the end to "prevent chipping". LOL


Today was a very nice day. I wore my new fragrance to work and 4 people commented positively on it today. I think I have the correct spray amount down now. :)

Stan's making turkey burgers for dinner and they smell delicious. The dog is being naughty and getting in trouble, he's puked all over the house and he's being super clingy and following Stan all over the house and if you knew the size of our house you would understand why this is so ridiculous. I think he gorged on a neck bone and that caused him to vomit because earlier I did see him with a bone in his mouth.

I watched the latest True Blood this afternoon and OMG I cannot wait until next week! That show is so great, I dare say I enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the Sopranos back in the day. This last Sunday's show was so action packed and left so many strings untied that I am anxious to see next week's episode. SPOILERS : How will Jason save Sookie from the basement of the church? Will her fake fiancee make it out alive? What's up with the bloodstained lot that Eggs to Tara to during their ride to the hardware store? And whats up with Marianne and not getting a shower? Is she powered by water? Whats up with the PIG? I hate Lorena but will she release Bill in time to go save Sookie, or will ESCANDALO Bill give in to their history and take back up with her? Or will she get Sookie for Eric who confessed he wanted her from Bill? Why does Pam want Lafayette to sell V again? When is Lafayette gonna get his groove back? You know it's bad when Andy can tell you've lost your groove. Is Daphne going to have Sam stabbed to death at the orgy hosted by Maryann with a bull mask and a dagger? Oh the questions!!!

I like watching series each week, but honestly I love watching them all at once on a DVD. I have no patience and I don't like waiting for Monday's or later to watch the show. I wish I could just sit down and watch the entire series like I did with all the Dexter series. I would even watch them out of order when the library delivered them out of order. LOL but still, it was better than the anticipation of watching weekly.

So tomorrow is Friday and I hope it's decent at work. If I can get one more of my deadbeats to pay up I will get a gas card for a bonus, it was a challenge put on me to collect x amount of money by one of my managers who didn't think I could collect $5K in a week. I was only in four days this week, too, and I'm right only a bit under $200 away from doing this. I hope I can get it done tomorrow, I have good luck getting debit cards to go through on Fridays since people get direct deposit on Fridays. Here's hoping, I could use a free fifty dollar bonus.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Livin the Dream

So your dad's recognizable all over the world, and he's made a career of breaking his body and probably soul, taking steroids and tearing off perfectly good shirts.

With Dad's money and notoriety, you know you can get a music career, right? Of course! There are enough good studio techs with studios, and image consultants, and makeup artists, and choreographers, and wardrobe consultants out there who are hungry enough to say, "Hulk, she's adorable but she does not have what it takes to be a pop singer". Believe it or not there are scruples and integrity in the business. It's harder to find than what the Hogans have found, which are commonly known as "Leeches". Instead they found theses leechpeople who only know the word YES and if the checks keep flowing, the nonsense does as well. Sure baby whatever you want, those pants are so fucking hot, I guarantee they'll be on the runways in Milan this fall.

As shown in this photo. The airbrushed photo that Brooke is holding is not fan art, or something she purchased for $20.00 on the Ocean City, New Jersey boardwalk. This is the actual cover art for her upcoming CD. Can you imagine? The people who okayed this decision were either A) blind B) 14 years old and wished it had "blinkies" or C) Friends of Brookes who are also on her payroll and "just want to make her happy". They thought Brooke seemed to dig it since the artist gave her a lithe midsection and a face like a downs syndrome patient.

Either way, the end result of all these wonderfully made, thought out, researched decisions that have been made in the realm of Brooke Hogan's career is in the photo. Standing in front of a folding table covered with some fabric from the crafts department, with a WalMart logo printed sign (the same type sign design that reminds you to wash your hands after you pee) letting the hordes of crowds (where are they?) that she will be there from 5 till 7. Conveniently located directly in front of socks. In summer. Socks in summer, she should name the new CD that, because we need one just as much as we don't need the other.

I shot a man in reno, just to watch him die

This boy's 5 years old and he's gonna be the next man in black, you mark my words.

In the meantime, I can still sit here and go awwww, right?


Today at work was fun! I do believe it was due to my GIANT UNDERPANTS! Yes I wore giant drawers today. They were not really just drawers, they were more of a fat sucking in tool. Yeah I broke down and bought one of these when I went shopping with my sis. It's pretty amazing how comfy it is and it does do a number on your flab. It also reminds you that it's there and you've got yourself so fat that you need to be held in by expensive undergarments so hey fatty so fat, why not skip lunch? The only thing that truly sucks homeless balls about it is going to the bathroom. I only went one time in a 10 hour time period because it was like an olympic sport taking it off and putting it back on in a tiny restroom stall. Plus with me being a germaphobe, I cannot touch the walls, and my clothes can't touch the floor, so it's a balancing act which probably looked like something out of Circque De Soliel. But I did manage to pee, and next time I know better and don't drink!!

I am going to get this kind whenever I get some money so that I can pee at work. I am really not trying to get a kidney stone. Plus my legs don't need any compression, just my middle, not the ass, not the tits, just the gut. So basically I will buy movement and urinating restrictive clothing rather than to do some sit ups. How lazy am I? I think that this paragraph shows the depths of my laziness.

I got a kickass white short trenchcoat yesterday on clearance for under $20, 2 Mr. Rogers style cardigans for work so I can wear short sleeves and still hide my shame, fashion tape for my button up shirts since the boobs want to make the buttons to pull and look messy. I got some Estee Lauder "Beyond Paradise" perfume, which I am trying to replace my Clinique Happy with. I've been on the Happy for god, 12 years. I love it but I think I need something new and my sister agreed and was shocked that I was still on it, even a derivitave of it, the Happy Heart. So, it was something new for me. This was like the 2nd smell I smelled and I like it. So it's mine now, it seems to disappear very fast with the same squirts as Happy which everyone at work commented on. Nobody said dick today, but then again they didn't say hey kim did you spill the juice of a can of tuna on your pants? Because that would have made me sad.

I also got some MAC makeup which I love but can't afford, some powder, some brushes, some eyeshadows, and I feel so pretty. I did pretty eyes today with pussy pink eyeliner, pink with blue highlights lids and creases, and baby pink highlights. I've been doing clear eyelash treatement at night then regular mascara at day, and WOW my friend at work asked if I was wearing falsies today, which I told her no, but I was wearing ENORMOUS UNDERPANTS!which of course then a mini fashion show ensued.

Hope your day was as fun as mine! I drank about 15 jello shooters that I shared with Mr. Ito while waiting for Stan to get home. I don't have a buzz from the Vodka, but the sugar has me going! zzzzzwwwhhheeeeee!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Iggy Pop's Mom

When did Madonna become Iggy Pop's mom?

Nurse, administer some cookie dough or mashed potatoes & gravy, STAT!


The sad thing is this is a real product and people will send this company real money rather than introduce their ass to Mr. Soap and Captain water.

I am taking a few days off to visit family so I wish everyone a wonderful few days.

Sunday, July 26, 2009


Giger (misspelled as Ginger) is in a contest.

He is #105, if you're so inclined.

Voting begins Monday.

Friday, July 24, 2009

thigh friction

I can only hope padding was involved


Oh my god I am so happy I don't have to work tomorrow. This week has been so surreal what with Monday being completely lost to medication, and Tuesday the same, somehow even with those 2 days being so weird, the week seemed to go on forever and ever.

So work today was actually good. People were nice and human on the phone, a coworker who I found out a while ago was stealing was shitcanned today, and my coworkers made me smile & laugh. My one coworker who is usually kind of stuffy and uptight was on some muscle relaxers and pain pills and was hilarious, probably like I was on Tuesday. LOL She said the funniest thing today, this pushy foreigner had called and was bitching because they paid to use the waterparks and it was lightning outside so they closed the outdoor park, and they wanted their money back (mind you there's a 125K square foot indoor park that was open) and we told them no, and after they hung up she says "the kosher pool is closed!" and it just made no sense, but she said it with such conviction it was hilarious.

Stan and I went to the Goodwill after work and I got 2 outfits one with matching shoes and everything. Now I have a reason to look forward to work on Monday. :) All for $20.00.

I plan on vegetating this weekend too. My sister is coming next weekend, and I do need to clean the house but oh how fun it sounds to sleep.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

What the hell is going on here?

Your guess is as good as mine.


I apparently went to work on Tuesday just as wasted as i was on Monday. I have no recollection of Monday or Tuesday. Hooray for drugs!

I am feeling more like myself today but I am still just exhausted. I could nap until tomorrow morning, but that's not really a nap is it? :)

Yesterday I had a bitchy woman call and complain that the Mobil gas station down the street overcharged her $.30 per gallon when she was here and what did I plan on doing for her? Um, give you the number to the Mobil station perhaps? Oh, that's it? Yes, I don't work for Mobil. Well you obviously own the station, it's on the property. Not to be difficult ma'am, but it's actually not on the property and we do not own it and there's nothing I can honestly do to assist you with the Mobil station. Well, that just goes to show what terrible customer service your resort gives! I will NEVER come back! :click:

People, gotta love em. On a good note today I did collect over $600 in deadbeat money.

Monday, July 20, 2009

I am so wasted my god they gave me 2 tinyp ills o keep me sane in the mri tube. i honeslty dont reneber athing aand am so waseted its not eve n funny. Its also stans birthday so we had steaks and sea cucuarachas. MMM mmmthey were really good.

im going to bed but stans gotta check me cuz the combo of benzodizepans and my daily methaedone and the hosptial injectable stufff theres a channce i could stop breathing. Whats hat? I hear someone yelling hold your breath! thats not very nice, you must have some infectious fish tacos adhered to your labia and feel the need to lash out at me who is not a whore but still manages to hafe fun so pfffffffffffffffffbbbbtttttttttttttttttt I wish you big fzcial blemishes andsmellly unerpants cotdches .

If I had a genie I would wish for 36 million dollars in non-marked bills, tax free, not stolen from anyone else, that is mine legally and forever. And when I spent $1, I would then make $2. Everyday for the resto fo my natural ife. That would be what i aske for me, I'd also ask that all pets had GREAT homes that loved and cheristed them. and that they'red be no more mistreated or homeless pets. I'd insititute a licensing program for all would be parents and have them all checked out (mentally, intellgently, housewise, finances)and see if they'd be fit parents. If not, there would be easily enough if they actually TRIED steps to take so they could learn to be the parent their kid wants and needs. If they don't wanna do that, the infertile people would have theses children to choose from as children who need to be adopted.

That's if I had a 3 wish genie.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

2 in one post

Today was exactly like yesterday minus leaving the house.

Here's the picture of the day, too. Compliments of Stan. What is going on here? Maybe it needs a caption but I'm too lazy to try.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Bow down to your new masters

I guess they won't be selling fried chicken at the deli after the new world order. Maybe they'll replace it with squirrel.


I think if I were independently wealthy I would be so sloth-like. My Saturdays are the epitome of leisure. My most tiresome activity today was vacuuming. My dog sheds so much I want to shave him. But I think a bald german shepherd would just look sickly and nobody would want to pet him and tell him how pretty he is when we go for walks.

We did go to a couple yard sales today, I got a duvet set for the bed and a gorgeous antique silk table runner with japanese embroidery all over it. It is so pretty and it was $3. Yay! Also we went to Walgreens and I got some hair dye for my latest big idea about what the fuck I am going to do with the mop of hair on my head. I was almost thisclose to cutting it the other day and Stan was like if you cut it, you'll hate it and I don't wanna hear about it when you're all pissed off after you do something stupid. He's right it's taken me so long to grow my hair this long and it can look decent if I try, so I'm going to do some creative bleaching and see if I like it. Kind of a a Cruella DeVille look. Stan didn't want to go inside the Walgreens because his toes are still painted from when he was laid up in the bed after his surgery. They're not pink or anything they have a clear coat with small red hearts and glitter mixed in. Barely noticeable and really who's going to dare say something to the guy who looks like this and has pretty pink hearts on his toes? Seriously!

So yeah that was my day. Now I am sitting in bed typing and watching QVC and wishing I had some money because they have Philosophy stuff on there. Did you know that QVC has Tacori jewelery? THEY DO! I was shocked because that has got to be one of my favorite brands of jewelery ever. And a lot of it is in platinum plated silver which is really affordable. Love it! I like watching QVC sometimes when I want to shop but don't want to put on pants. That should be their new logo, right?

Tomorrow we are going to go to the range and go shooting. I have not been shooting in forever and am kind of excited. I want to bring some fun targets like helium balloons and stuff that explodes when you hit it, maybe some water balloons with red water inside to get some of my anger out. I wonder if we'll bring Mr. Ito.

Oh man they have watermelon bath gel on tv. That sounds so great doesn't it? They discontinued the bath gel I was using at Walgreens. It was called Breathe Easy and had menthol and spearmint in it and smelled so great and tingled when you used it. The ladies on TV are saying this stuff smells like Jolly Rancher and now I want it really bad. DAMN the fact that I am poor! Oh well. If I were rich I'd have so much bath and body and cosmetics stuff it would be ridiculous.

Heather stopped by today to pick up clothes. I didn't even see her and she didn't even tell her dad to tell me to drop fucking dead. I cannot wait until she doesn't come by for clothes or for money or for anything anymore. She's really pissed me off I think to the point of no return. It will take some serious changing on her end, or a lot of time for me to feel differently.

Friday, July 17, 2009

My family tree is a paper mill

Since I'm adopted, I used to pretend my parents were shopping channel hosts. For some reason this cute gay man always looked like he smelled nice so I would tell people he was my birth father.

Now I have a new fake parent photo that I am thinking of framing and taking to work and building a storyline about. Meet my birth mom, isn't she something? She was recently arrested for urinating in public, in particular in a Publix Store's Bulk Food section. Always classy that mom of mine, always classy.


Oh the joys of Friday. Except for one dude at work everyone was semi human. The dude broke the glass cooktop on the oven in his room and didn't want to pay the $500 to replace it. How sad. I charged his card immediately when maintenance called to let me know it occurred. 2 hours later I get this super aggressive douchebag on the phone telling me the cooktop was old (yeah, and? What does glass get brittle as it gets old? I have some pyrex bakeware that's 20 years old dude) and he's not going to pay for it. I corrected him and let him know he had already paid for it. Guy went nuts, telling me he's going to contest the charge and I reminded him he signed the reg card stating he would be responsible for any damages he caused. He stated he didn't cause it. Oh, okay, maybe you personally did not, but someone in your party did, and you called down to the front desk to complain about it and demand a new room or oven. He stated he's not paying for it and thats that and he wants a manager. I send poor manager over and he gets up in her face (she's maybe five three?) and tells her he's not paying and blah blah blah and she tells him he's already paid for it, and since he's so unhappy she would be happy to check him out right now and only charge him $100 to depart early. I love this manager. She's got balls the size of planets. Dude realizes he's up against someone he cannot defeat and chooses to stay but wants a new room with a working cooktop. So we switch his room but apparently the room is ready for him 10 minutes after he has put his kids down for a nap and he won't depart the room until they wakeup in about 3 hours. Manager laughs and states that in 3 hours he will not have to move as he'll be staying in that room if he's still in it. If he'd like to move rooms, the time is now. He begrudgingly does it, and makes a huge stink and gets so in her face security is called for her safety. Now, I was thinking it would sure be great fun around oh, 2 or 3 tonight to call the room that this douche is in and pretend I'm the guy in the room upstairs and say something like, "hey asshole, I'm the guy upstairs and if you don't shut up your ugly retarded kids I'm gonna come down there and give them a a reason to cry". Or something like that. Which would A) wake up the kids and annoy this guy, and/or B) cause him to stomp upstairs and beat on the upstairs neighbors door, waking that guest, and causing him to look like a real jerkoff. Then, about 4 minutes after the initial call, I thought it would be funny to call the front desk and pretend I was the guy on the 3rd floor above the inital douche and report a fight on the 2nd floor. Then security would come and those 2 guests would be fighting and the initial douche would probably be evicted. Then security would go up to the 3rd floor and check in with the guest who reported the fight, who actually is also sleeping and who would also be awakened for no good reason. These are the fantasies that I have now because these guests drive me to scenarios where I piss them all off.

Fun huh? Remember I didnt say I did this or I am planning on doing this, I said I think it would be funny. And I do! HA!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I only have flies, for you

I dunno if you can see what's going on in this pic unless you click it.

But damn, this bitch must smell like a diaper load of shrimp.


So I spoke to a woman yesterday who could not add. I spent about 20 minutes on the phone with her, adding up her 2 payments that she made for her vacation, and then trying to get her to understand that the sum of these 2 numbers equals the total for her room, tax and incidentals. She could not understand it no matter how I explained. Could not. Refused to understand. She finally got frustrated and angry and lashed out at me saying "well fine then I'll just do a chargeback". To which I replied that was fine, we could give her cc company a copy of her signed registration card with her rates clearly noted, and she'd be responsible for the payments. She did not like this. So she calls back today primed to fight. She called while I was on the phone and left a message to call her, which I did. She stated that she had her husband help her and she understands the bill now, but with NO HELP FROM ME. I reminded her that I attempted to explain the bill to her for over 20 minutes yesterday. She stated that I had a bad attitude and was rude to her by saying if she chargeback'ed her stay she would lose. Um, well, you would have! I explained that I had tried to explain the bill to her, and I was only responding to her statement that due to her inability to add, she was not responsible for paying for her vacation. The guest kept wanting to fight but that's not what I'm here for, she stated she comes to the resort with her kids for their dance competition every year and she will not return unless I am terminated. :) I told her I was sorry she felt that way. She wanted my bosses email which I gladly gave her. She stated she was going to post online about me and I'd never get another job again. I thanked her again. I felt like saying hey lady you have no idea what hateful people have said and continue to say about me on the Internet, so do your best but I doubt you can touch the lengths that others have attained! LOL! I told her I was sorry she was so dissatisfied with the service I gave her and wished her a wonderful day, to which she started bitching again, going, "see, this is what I'm talki...." before I disconnected the call. After you say all that shit about me, I'm done. Go to my boss like you said. I'm done with you. And, unless you're going to call DYFUS and the SPCA and any other alphabets (DEA, FBI etc) your sad little Internet posting about how I am so TEH MEAN and I couldn't teach your ignorant ass how to add two numbers to get the sum of your not going to affect me. Going to my boss is not going to affect me, as she stands next to me while I try to explain to retards how to do remedial math and tells me how she cannot believe how I can come in daily and continue to do what I do and take the fucking abuse that I take, so again, HAVE AT IT.

Hers was the 2nd threat of my job today. The 1st one was mad that she smoked in a nonsmoking room and we charged her credit card $100.00 due to the extra cleaning her room required. When I explained this to her, she stated that this was bullshit and when I reminded her we were both adults and there was no need to cuss, she stated that she would have my fucking job if she didn't get her money back. I wished her a wonderful day & hung up and thought with that little self control and such a small vocabulary, she really couldn't have my job.

Other than that, I was called a bitch only 3 times today. Once by a lady who wanted to play let's make a deal after she had stayed with us over the weekend and came home and thought about her room rates and figured they were too high. When I told her that she signed for those rates and she agreed for those rates, she cursed me and hung up. The other was a man who wanted his entire stay comped because he got bad directions and ended up in Green Bay (um hello sense of direction? Green Bay is HOURS from us!) and somehow this is OUR fault, I explained I was sorry that his GPS took him so far away, but that I could not refund his over $600.00 stay due to that, and he cursed me. The last one was this snotty bitch who has a bad credit card and owes $138 to the resort for her spa treatments. I called her and let her know that her CC was still declining and she called me a bitch and hung up.

I love my job!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Really good song

This song is strippingly good.

asshole neighbors

I live near some real assholes. I've written about them before. I have been completely avoiding their area of the neighborhood just to prevent any further scream fights and to keep my stress down. Well today I had to go to the library to pick up a movie and the only way there is past their hovel. Well they have a little Jack Russell Terrier who they let run wild. Mr. Ito hates other dogs now in his old age. The little dog runs up to me barking and Mr. Ito gets very protective and he could easily kill the dog so I just don't go near there drug house. I've called the landlord of the apartments before to complain when there was a verbal altercation between me and the fat porch jabba bitch before over this dog. So today I was heading to the library and of course their little dog is out in the yard; no leash. I try to walk past before Mr. Ito notices. I almost make it but the stupid little shit starts running up to me. Mr. Ito goes batshit and in his frenzy he steps on the back of my flipflop causing me to fall and drags me a bit giving me road rash on my arm and knee. I am just trying to not allow him to kill the little dog. His training collar spikes go through the palm of my hand. OUCH. My wrist is all fucked up. The fat bitch is screaming at me and I just walk away. I get home and call the landlord again, who tells me he's evicting them. Goody for you so until then we have to put up with them in the neighborhood? I decide to call the cops, who come out and take my statement. If these fuckers try anything in retribution I will shoot them. I cannot wait until they are out of the neighborhood they trash the joint up with their shitty looking house and their garbage everywhere. Not to mention the drug activity around their unplanned children. They're just generally disgusting humans.

So I am sitting here with a fucked up leg and arm and wrist and I'm sad. I took someVicodin but it's not helping. I must need more, right? :) I've only taken 3 5/325's. I can take one more per doctor's orders for breakthrough pain. This isn't breakthrough pain, this is stupid neighbor pain.

Thats my day, hope yours was better. Stanny brought me a subway for lunch today which was very nice of him. I was so hungry, he must have known. :)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Milk does a Body Good

Yuck why would you drink milk at a theme park? I didn't think they even sold milk at theme parks. Seriously it has to be milk, right?

Funny stuff. I don't like rollercoasters.


I felt awful this morning and did not go to work. Stan gave me a little bit of crap for doing so since I'm not suffering from Ebola or anything other than a generalized sense of I don't feel good. Which I thought was very rude and told him so and now he's barely speaking to me. Which is fine if he's going to be a douche. If he's so worried about money maybe instead of giving me shit about staying home, he should get a job.

I really don't feel like posting other than to say I love this website:

It's not safe for work but it's not hardcore donkey porn or anything.

Well I better get some rest so I can get up and get to work so my husband doesn't divorce me. Shame on me for not feeling well, someone should beat some ethics into me one of these days.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Aw Hell Naw

I feel just about like this right now.


What a busy day. Lots of work at work, and then a doctor's appointment. I have to go get a MRI for my head in the near future to rule out any sort of maybe stroke goings on. I had an incident where my hand refused to work a while back, can't remember if I wrote about it. The neurologist wrote it off as a rogue migraine but my doc wants to be sure. So I get to have a panic fit in the MRI machine, fun!

I went for the main reason of my boob. It's painful as hell and he wanted to rule out another infection. He did. He thinks that I have nerve problems in the boob from all the trauma and surgeries. I don't care what it is I want it to stop. I want to be able to wear a bra without cringing and to roll over onto my stomach without waking up in pain at night. I hate my boob. It is ugly and painful. So he's going to add this to the list for the pain mgmt doctor that I'm going to go see next month. He did not feel any lumps but again that's rather impossible as the boob is now more resembling a piece of chewed gum than a normal tit.

It's 830 and I'm ready to go to bed. I'm such a lazy shitstain of a person.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Hold reeeeaaaalllll still

Stay the fuck off of my lawn and DO NOT cut your eyes at me today. I'm in no mood for your fucking shenanigans, douchebag.


Oh I am disappointed today.

I wanted to go to the Sauk Fair and pet cows and watch cars crash. But noo, we are too poor to do this. WHICH SUCKS LET ME TELL YOU. Dammit. So I guess I will pout and sleep all day.

I'm sitting here watching the cars go by outside the window and I am silently cursing every last one of them to have money to be outside of their house. FUCK ALL OF YOU!!! I hope you have no fun. I hope your air conditioning malfunctions! I hope your car smells bad.

Bastards. I'm jealous and have a terrible case of sour grapes. It looks so pretty outside too. Fuckers.

Eat shit everyone.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Give me your meat, baby.

For Thanksgiving this year I plan on making a meat baby. A tender succulent infant for the family to devour and pull apart and enjoy!


Work was easy today. Not too many idiots, except for one lady who accused me over the phone of being racist. I'm sorry ma'am, this isn't a video phone, I haven't a clue if you're black, white or green, what in the world are you talking about? She hung up. Fun stuff!

I plan on doing jack shit this weekend.

Hope your weekend is going to be as relaxing as mine will be. I got my car to start today and drove it home. Yay, now at least it won't get towed away.

Enjoy your weekend, the only thing that could make mine better is air conditioning.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Have some diabetic oatmeal

This photo is named "Flying Wilford Brimley" in my photos folder.


Man I am one lazy bitch. I would love to go to bed right now. I slept yesterday from about 6pm till 730 the next morning. And I could have slept more. I love sleeping.

Work was tolerable and not too busy. Six hours went quickly. The car would not start after work of course so Stan picked me up and we ran to Walmart where his bank is located. He had overdrawn his account by $5 oops. So he had to pay his fines.

Today is farmers market day, or as it's known around the house, "bone day". Mr. Ito walks up there with us when we shop and he gets a big buffalo bone. But lately there has not been any buffalo bones! Dear God! So he's been getting some beef neck bones. It's really cute he takes the bone from the farmer and carries it home. If we let him he would RUN all the way home. We also got some buffalo for dinner and some local broccoli. There were a bunch of oriental people there, all with the same stuff. I think they're buying this food somewhere else and selling it at the market. Because none of the white or indian farmers have these products and they ALL have the same stuff. Which leads me to believe they are not local nor are these people farmers. I don't think I like that. The whole purpose of the farmers market is to buy local food and be self sustaining within your community. Not driving your van (they all had vans) to Chicago to the big oriental market and stocking up on stuff that you jack the price up and sell to people like you grew it yourself. I know first hand that oriental markets have amazing selections of vegetables that are very, very cheap. They're very good as well. As a matter of fact I had told Stan before back in NJ that the veggies at the oriental market reminded me of farmers market veggies. But whatever that's what freedom of choice is about and we just didn't buy from them.

So I'm waiting for the grill to heat up and for Stan to cook the buffalo. I made chop salad today for the first time in about a year. What is chip salad you ask? Its cherry tomatoes cut in half (2 boxes), 3 avocados cut into small chunks, 2 cucumbers partially peeled so they are striped cut into slices and then cut into 1/2 and 1/4's depending on the size of your cuke, colored peppers (red and orange), 1 container extra firm tofu cut into diced cubes (or purchased cubed), 2 cans of small black olives, 2 cans of green giant white shoepeg corn, 2 cans of black beans. Mix all this together in a huge tupperware container, then add 4 seasons Italian dressing (must be that kind, the kind you mix yourself and do not use white vinegar or apple vinegar, use RED WINE vinegar, and do not use corn or vegetable oil, use extra virgin olive oil). Mix it all up and refrigerate and you have the most perfect food for snacks, as a meal, or with a meal. I could live off this stuff. It's delicious!

:) Happy day!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

one more thing...

hey i heard a tiny little snippet on the news that maybe Michael Jackson died? Is this true?

LOL i kid, i kid.

Good memorial, let's do another one tomorrow. Heck at this rate we could get a week off of work this time next year if they time it right.

With all the media coverage, you'd think Princess Diana's brother Jesus had shot Anna Nicole in the face during a drive by witnessed by Tupac. We are the world, truly. And who but a race confused pedarast should lead us. Long live the king.

Loaf of Ass

This dude's butt cheeks (click to enlarge, duh) look like loaves, loafs? of wonder bread.

I wonder (LOL pun) if that was the look he was going for when he did all those thousands of butt clench repetitions?

I somehow doubt it.

That's one fucked up looking ass.

And LOL and those tiny socks.


A lovely productive day at work with minimal assholes. One really big one but she was easily dealt with. She and her husband were here with us over spring break. Her husband verbally assaulted 2 little tween girls, cursing them and threatening them, and then when he was called out on this, he played the race card like he had a full house. Dude acted so miserably that the parents of the girls called the police and pressed charges against him. So after that he continued to cry that the only reason that he was being so persecuted was because he was black. It was a fucked up scene. The general manager as well as many other managers were involved and the mans behaviour was just so horrible they asked them to leave. They had paid for many nights upon check in, and one payment was for $1398.00. We refunded $942 back to their credit card, and the wife went buttcrazy because refunds on credit cards take 3-5 days to process, and she was going to "start getting crazy" unless we expedited the refund. I did and it took me hours. She was horrible to work with and called daily for 3 days saying that we had taken the refund back. I called her CC company so many times, and what she wanted was the $1398 back as well as the $942, meaning she would :make: money from her stay with us. I told her absolutely not and no no no! She kept calling and wasting my time for days, demanding all the money back. I refused. Well today I get a chargeback in the mail, no big deal, but guess who it's from? HER! LOL I cannot wait for the CC fraud investigators to see the package of stuff that I sent in, including a copy of the police report and tickets that the husband was issued due to threatening kids, and then the refund that she already rec'd, plus the signed registration card that states she agrees to pay $X.XX amount of money, which was LESS than she initially was charged because they departed early. Well now they are going to be responsible for the entire stay, since that is what she signed and agreed to, and if she had not involved her cc fraud department, she would have been fine and only paid for what she stayed. Now she's going to pay for what she AGREED to pay, and I sealed that letter off with a big kiss! I hate assholes.

We went to the store and spent some coupons that I got from Lean Pockets because of a big piece of BONE that I found in a pocket. EW GROSS! So I sent them an email and let them know, they sent me a return envelope to send the bone back to them, as well as 3 free product coupons, and 2 $0.40 cents off coupons. I also had a free coupon for Chap Stick Shimmer, which I finally found (Walgreens does not have it) and got that in Tropical flavor, which tastes like a Pina Colada! Yum! I also got a pretty plant that I split up, it's a Pothos Ivy. I'm taking some to work for my desk, the other's on Stan's tall dresser and it looks really pretty. I need to get more plant pots at Goodwill, they've not had any the last couple times I went. The ivy was on sale for $2.00 and it was big enough to separate. Sweet! Oh they also had shoes on sale, and I got 2 pairs of ballet flats for $7; one pink and one a really cool school bus yellow. Oddly enough a lot of my work clothes are pink and they will look hot with these shoes. The yellow ones, I will make work but they're just such a pretty yellow I could not resist. If I had more money I would have bought the lime green ones as well (Hint hint Stan if you read this please get them for me in size 7, and the solid green ones).

That was pretty much my day. Oh I almost shit myself on the way home, but nobody wants to read about that, plus "almost" doesn't count unless you're shitting on the horseshoe field or something, right?

Oh and thank you for the searches and clicks! I should send you all Prankerchiefs!

Monday, July 6, 2009


Just a quick note re: this site.

See the search box up on the upper right side? It's a regular spam free google search, but for some reason if you use it, they pay me. Neato huh? Sadly I cannot use it myself, but you can! Please feel free.

Thank you for your time reading this boring message and hopefully searching with my site.

Late Night Evangelism

Have you ever been up late at night and came across some weird shit on TV? I have. Or I should say WE have. Whenever I go with Stan to his shows, we get home quite late as the band plays till closing, then they have to tear down, load up and then drive home which takes about 3-4 hours. So that means it's around 4-6am when we get in. We've seen this guy several times, and I never knew his name because I am laughing so hard. Apparently his name is Kerney Thomas and he's a wackjob. Prankerchief!

If you're up for it, you can get a free Prankerchief here: I love the word prankerchief. I love freebies too and I was going to start posting them here, but that's such a big deal to do and I honestly don't think anyone really reads here anyhow. But consider this my one and only freebie post. :)

So Cute!

Okay if this doesn't make your teeth hurt because it's so fucking sweet, you're a sour old soul who will most likely die alone and nobody will notice until you start stinking.


So today was a decent enough day. I got my medication adjusted and that's good. Also spoke to the doctor regarding the fact that the FDA is most likely going to discontinue the production of Vicodin, so I will have to just be put on straight hydrocodone, without the acetaminophen for my breakthrough pain medication. Which is fine with me, I honestly prefer Vicoprofen which is hydrocodone & Ibuprofen. But they're going to stop making medications that combine hydrocodone and tylenol, that's all I really know. I take a long acting opiate for my main pain reliever, and I take those 2 in the AM and 2 in the PM.

Work was crazy busy and people were trying to get into their rooms at 8am. This one lady she had no concept of why this seemed so ridiculous. I attempted to explain to her that we had a holiday over the weekend and guests are still in their rooms at 8am, and will be for 3 more hours. Then, after they depart we do have to get housekeeping up in there to clean it. I left at 230 today and the bitch was still calling every 10 minutes to see if her room was ready and getting madder and madder each call. Oh well. Honestly :my: job today wasn't that busy, it was everyone else's that was nuts, and I am just too nice and attempt to help.

I'm going to post 2 must see videos today. I hate when people post lame videos, but these are not lame. I promise you won't want your time back after viewing them. :)

Happy happy, still no AC on, it's really beautiful outside with just fans in the windows. Stan's on a mission to track down Heather's mother and send her to go live with her. I have not seen Heather in about a month now, we don't know where she is. She texts her dad every night but you know prostituting yourself is hard work and requires her to sleep all day, but we don't allow that here so she just refuses to come home. Stan's had enough of her foolishness and nonsense. He's going to tell her Mom that we will not pursue her for the 14 years of back child support that she owes us and will allow her to stop the support early if she just takes her own child in and keeps her for one year. Just one year, then she'll be 18. We've had her all the rest of the time, what's a year? Just 365 little days. Bet me money this lazy bitch would rather pay child support and not have any contact with her child. I dunno, from what Stan says she's equally lazy and money hungry. I hope she's more money hungry and agrees to take in little Miss Jailbait and STD 2009. That would make me smile. And laugh. :)

Sunday, July 5, 2009


What's better than an automatic rifle?

One covered in bacon, of course.

Actually, I will share a secret with you, I am not a huge bacon fan. I will eat it in small amounts like on a BLT but honestly large amounts of it make me gaggy.


Today was spent doing a whole buncha nothin. Stan made some rice crispies treats and cut up some melons for my lunches this week. I love eating watermelon & cantaloupe for lunch. I think he added in some of the wild blueberries we had in the freezer, too. YUM.

So you see from what paragraph that he's feeling better. He was up and about but taking it easy. We went to Walgreens to pick up his Kadian and now he's vomiting from it which is obviously not so good on the abdomen. He's got a doctor appointment tomorrow to follow up on his belly button, so I wrote my doc (we go to the same doc as our primary and pain mgmt doc) a note asking him when he refills my Vicodin (which is due in like 3 days) to please change the acetominophen from 500mg to 325mg. I don't know why but the last time he scripted me, he gave me more tylenol which I don't want. Hopefully he'll fix it.

I work 7 hours tomorrow. Yay! I'm sure it's going to be hell busy what with the holiday weekend and me being off, which I must repeat, was so relaxing and wonderful. No fireworks, no spastic dog, no crowds of people with bad breath and dirty feet and hands, just perfect.

Hope yours was too!

Friday, July 3, 2009

So True!

Can I borrow a quarter?

How come the spinner machines at my walmart only have fake bling, rubber balls that look like eyes and tramp-in-training stamp temp tattoos?

Maybe these machines are only in Target. They're so much more forward than Wal-mart. I need to get down to Madison one of these days!

:) Happy 4th of July


I love Friday!

Because I have 2 days off! YES! Today at work was barely controlled chaos. It was madness. The guests, I swear I think they all drink a big steaming cup of entitlement soup before they get in the car to come on vacation. Check in time is at 4:00. I don't know if you've never been out of your house before, and I honestly don't care, but no, you may not check into an occupied room at 7:30am just because you want to and for some reason you've decided to arrive to the resort 8.5 hours early. And no the waterpark is not open at this time. Sorry, maybe we should open it just for you rather than making you wait the hour and a half before they open the doors. Then dude is pissed off that the outdoor waterpark is closed at dusk. He wants to know why. I told the poor associate who kept running into the back office to escape his verbal assaults to tell him that we got sick of scraping kids off the pool filter in the morning because the lifeguards don't have night vision. What an asshole. We close the pools at dusk so your ugly children don't drown, braintrust.

So the fun started when I got there and was continuing when I split at 3. Bitchy people wanting and wanting and wanting and not understanding that their wants and demands are not met with instant YES SIR PLEASE DEMAND A LOWER RATE ON A HOLIDAY WEEKEND and OF COURSE YOU CAN LET YOUR FAT CHILD SHIT IN THE MAKE A WISH FOUNTAIN BECAUSE HE NEEDS A NAP AND YOUR ROOM IS NOT READY 4 HOURS EARLY. I swear I don't know real life people that act like this, I really don't, and if any of my friends and/or family acted in this manner I would be mortified and would tell them that they suck.

I plan on doing a whole bunch of nothing this weekend. Sounds great right? I got the kitchen clean tonight, I made Stan gross dinner that he wanted (eggs with little smokies sausages mixed in), cleaned up the dogshit yard, did the dishes and took out the garbage. So the chores are almost all done (dog dinner, ferret dinner and dog walk left to do) and then I'm done. Dee Oh En Ee done!

Happy Fourth of July and if you're going somewhere for the holiday please take a second and say THANK YOU to the person that you have contact with who's working. Be nice to them. They will appreciate it. Heck, make their holiday and give them a TIP. What a concept!


Thursday, July 2, 2009

Beauty Nipple

This kind of product brings up a bunch of W questions:

What? as in WTF what? Why would anyone want a "Beauty Nipple" even if it does come with a carrying case? Me myself I'm not a big fan of when I have headlights.

Where? as in where would you buy this? Porno type store? Drug store? The packaging screams dollar store. Also, where would you store them in their attractive packaging? Purse? Drawer?

Why? again, I am usually trying to control my headlights and not share them with the world. I can't imagine sticking little latex nipples over my own nipples to show the world that I'm cold. Knowing my luck, one would drop down out of place and I'd look like I could nurse a litter of puppies.

When? really when is it appropriate to wear little latex pink nipples? Is this for people who need prosthetic nipples?

This product confuses & frightens me and I've spent way too long thinking about it.


So work was insane today. Since 4th of July is coming, everyone from Illinois is up in the Dells visiting. For some reason the front desk scheduled 3 girls to work the front desk (there are 14 computer stations for front desk associates to check people in) on the day before a holiday weekend with about 575 check ins. It was insane. There were people from group sales, reservations and corporate at the front desk checking people in. And of course I was there as well checking people in. I was not at work yesterday, so I had the 43 messages from yesterday to contend with as well as the calls from today, which were up to 27 at my last count at 3 when I had to leave. I only had 6 hours to work today, I offered to stay longer and help out but there was no budget for that. So tomorrow should be just a wonderful day too, I have so much shit to do, but thankfully I have 7 hours to do it tomorrow. Yay.

Stan's been in the bed all day today which I am pleasantly surprised about. He is in a lot of pain, and that's not good, but he's actually taking it easy and resting which is good. He's usually such a hard head he is doing too much after this kind of this tells me that he must really hurt to stay in bed all day. I tried to set him up with enough food & drinks by the bed when I left for work, and I made sure the dog was walked too. Mr. Ito was very good and did not poop up or pee up the house while I was gone. When I got home we went to the farmer's market up the way and he got a bone for being so good. He loves going to the farmer's market. I had no money for anything else but he did deserve the bone.

Oh and on the money front, my landlord just called and let us know that since we finally got all the receipts together from the home repairs we did before and since we've moved in, we can have another free month of rent! When we signed the lease we estimated that we would spend enough $ in repairs that we could get one and one half month's of rent in repair money. Well we went way over that, and weren't going to send those receipts in, since we had already agreed to one & 1/2 months. Well he kept asking for more reciepts so Stan sent him everything and he called today saying that since we spent so much on his property, he would give us another month free and then some $$$ off the next month as well. How's that for non-stick! Yay! He wanted to return the checks that we just sent, but Stan told him to keep it and we'll just have a credit with him. This will be great to catch up on utilities! And maybe get a washer & dryer??? That would be the shit, I am getting sick of doing wash in the bathtub.

So all in all today was a rockin kick ass day. Hope yours was too.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Video killed the Picture of the day

I hate online videos that are lame.

This one's not lame. It's creepy as hell. WTF is this stuff? Here's the writeup on it, from Gawker:

The North Carolina Poop-Monster!

Summer's here. That means monster season. What creatures do lurk in the darkest sewer pipes of the Tar Heel State? Some disgusting, pulsating, alien blob creatures do.

No idea what these things are, but you certainly shouldn't watch this video until you've fully digested your breakfast. This video is allegedly from a sewer snake cam in North Carolina. This is exactly what flamethrowers were invented for.


So I had to get up at 430 this morning to get up & ready to have Stan at the hospital for his surgery at 630. Ugh. I hate getting up that early.

Well we made it on time and he had his surgery and it went well thank God and he's hernia free. He doesn't know if he has a belly button or not, and he won't peek under the bandages to see. He wants to wait until he is allowed to take off the bandages. He called me a joy-kill and said I had no patience when I told him I wanted to peek now. Oh well, I don't have any patience and I don't see the whole fun of waiting to see something you want to see now. But hey different strokes for different folks so we will wait. He is in a lot of pain, more as the day goes on, the doctor gave him Vicodin which he already takes in addition to his Kadian for pain. So he will probably be in a lot of pain due to just having more pain stimuli and the same pain killers. I'm sure he'll be fine but I just worry, and I am so glad he's okay. I was a mess the whole time he was in the OR (over an hour), and his doctor was supposed to come talk to me afterwards, but noooo he didn't. :(

That's about it for me. I was going to make a chicken dinner tonight but Stan does not want it, he probably isn't that hungry. He ate a hot lean pocket for a snack and I think that will do it. Oh well I was kinda stoked for a pick chicken, but hey I'm also lazy and if he doesn't want it, who am I to complain? Oh and a pick chicken is a whole chicken that you bake & throw in the fridge and pick at. I love cold chicken about 20x more than I like hot chicken so pick chicken to me is delicious.

Happy day! :)