Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Livin the Dream

So your dad's recognizable all over the world, and he's made a career of breaking his body and probably soul, taking steroids and tearing off perfectly good shirts.

With Dad's money and notoriety, you know you can get a music career, right? Of course! There are enough good studio techs with studios, and image consultants, and makeup artists, and choreographers, and wardrobe consultants out there who are hungry enough to say, "Hulk, she's adorable but she does not have what it takes to be a pop singer". Believe it or not there are scruples and integrity in the business. It's harder to find than what the Hogans have found, which are commonly known as "Leeches". Instead they found theses leechpeople who only know the word YES and if the checks keep flowing, the nonsense does as well. Sure baby whatever you want, those pants are so fucking hot, I guarantee they'll be on the runways in Milan this fall.

As shown in this photo. The airbrushed photo that Brooke is holding is not fan art, or something she purchased for $20.00 on the Ocean City, New Jersey boardwalk. This is the actual cover art for her upcoming CD. Can you imagine? The people who okayed this decision were either A) blind B) 14 years old and wished it had "blinkies" or C) Friends of Brookes who are also on her payroll and "just want to make her happy". They thought Brooke seemed to dig it since the artist gave her a lithe midsection and a face like a downs syndrome patient.

Either way, the end result of all these wonderfully made, thought out, researched decisions that have been made in the realm of Brooke Hogan's career is in the photo. Standing in front of a folding table covered with some fabric from the crafts department, with a WalMart logo printed sign (the same type sign design that reminds you to wash your hands after you pee) letting the hordes of crowds (where are they?) that she will be there from 5 till 7. Conveniently located directly in front of socks. In summer. Socks in summer, she should name the new CD that, because we need one just as much as we don't need the other.

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