Wednesday

Today at work was fun! I do believe it was due to my GIANT UNDERPANTS! Yes I wore giant drawers today. They were not really just drawers, they were more of a fat sucking in tool. Yeah I broke down and bought one of these when I went shopping with my sis. It's pretty amazing how comfy it is and it does do a number on your flab. It also reminds you that it's there and you've got yourself so fat that you need to be held in by expensive undergarments so hey fatty so fat, why not skip lunch? The only thing that truly sucks homeless balls about it is going to the bathroom. I only went one time in a 10 hour time period because it was like an olympic sport taking it off and putting it back on in a tiny restroom stall. Plus with me being a germaphobe, I cannot touch the walls, and my clothes can't touch the floor, so it's a balancing act which probably looked like something out of Circque De Soliel. But I did manage to pee, and next time I know better and don't drink!!

I am going to get this kind whenever I get some money so that I can pee at work. I am really not trying to get a kidney stone. Plus my legs don't need any compression, just my middle, not the ass, not the tits, just the gut. So basically I will buy movement and urinating restrictive clothing rather than to do some sit ups. How lazy am I? I think that this paragraph shows the depths of my laziness.

I got a kickass white short trenchcoat yesterday on clearance for under $20, 2 Mr. Rogers style cardigans for work so I can wear short sleeves and still hide my shame, fashion tape for my button up shirts since the boobs want to make the buttons to pull and look messy. I got some Estee Lauder "Beyond Paradise" perfume, which I am trying to replace my Clinique Happy with. I've been on the Happy for god, 12 years. I love it but I think I need something new and my sister agreed and was shocked that I was still on it, even a derivitave of it, the Happy Heart. So, it was something new for me. This was like the 2nd smell I smelled and I like it. So it's mine now, it seems to disappear very fast with the same squirts as Happy which everyone at work commented on. Nobody said dick today, but then again they didn't say hey kim did you spill the juice of a can of tuna on your pants? Because that would have made me sad.

I also got some MAC makeup which I love but can't afford, some powder, some brushes, some eyeshadows, and I feel so pretty. I did pretty eyes today with pussy pink eyeliner, pink with blue highlights lids and creases, and baby pink highlights. I've been doing clear eyelash treatement at night then regular mascara at day, and WOW my friend at work asked if I was wearing falsies today, which I told her no, but I was wearing ENORMOUS UNDERPANTS!which of course then a mini fashion show ensued.

Hope your day was as fun as mine! I drank about 15 jello shooters that I shared with Mr. Ito while waiting for Stan to get home. I don't have a buzz from the Vodka, but the sugar has me going! zzzzzwwwhhheeeeee!