Friday

Oh the joys of Friday. Except for one dude at work everyone was semi human. The dude broke the glass cooktop on the oven in his room and didn't want to pay the $500 to replace it. How sad. I charged his card immediately when maintenance called to let me know it occurred. 2 hours later I get this super aggressive douchebag on the phone telling me the cooktop was old (yeah, and? What does glass get brittle as it gets old? I have some pyrex bakeware that's 20 years old dude) and he's not going to pay for it. I corrected him and let him know he had already paid for it. Guy went nuts, telling me he's going to contest the charge and I reminded him he signed the reg card stating he would be responsible for any damages he caused. He stated he didn't cause it. Oh, okay, maybe you personally did not, but someone in your party did, and you called down to the front desk to complain about it and demand a new room or oven. He stated he's not paying for it and thats that and he wants a manager. I send poor manager over and he gets up in her face (she's maybe five three?) and tells her he's not paying and blah blah blah and she tells him he's already paid for it, and since he's so unhappy she would be happy to check him out right now and only charge him $100 to depart early. I love this manager. She's got balls the size of planets. Dude realizes he's up against someone he cannot defeat and chooses to stay but wants a new room with a working cooktop. So we switch his room but apparently the room is ready for him 10 minutes after he has put his kids down for a nap and he won't depart the room until they wakeup in about 3 hours. Manager laughs and states that in 3 hours he will not have to move as he'll be staying in that room if he's still in it. If he'd like to move rooms, the time is now. He begrudgingly does it, and makes a huge stink and gets so in her face security is called for her safety. Now, I was thinking it would sure be great fun around oh, 2 or 3 tonight to call the room that this douche is in and pretend I'm the guy in the room upstairs and say something like, "hey asshole, I'm the guy upstairs and if you don't shut up your ugly retarded kids I'm gonna come down there and give them a a reason to cry". Or something like that. Which would A) wake up the kids and annoy this guy, and/or B) cause him to stomp upstairs and beat on the upstairs neighbors door, waking that guest, and causing him to look like a real jerkoff. Then, about 4 minutes after the initial call, I thought it would be funny to call the front desk and pretend I was the guy on the 3rd floor above the inital douche and report a fight on the 2nd floor. Then security would come and those 2 guests would be fighting and the initial douche would probably be evicted. Then security would go up to the 3rd floor and check in with the guest who reported the fight, who actually is also sleeping and who would also be awakened for no good reason. These are the fantasies that I have now because these guests drive me to scenarios where I piss them all off.

Fun huh? Remember I didnt say I did this or I am planning on doing this, I said I think it would be funny. And I do! HA!