Saturday, May 23, 2009

My other site

I used to have a great site about ferrets. I had a lot of friends that would frequent the site. Then I moved and felt like everything changed. My friends had to be dealt with on not my terms but someone elses. I felt like nothing was in my control anymore. When I did try to contact my friends on my own, I was told that I was not welcome to call anymore. I had "lost my chance" to remain friends and that everyone hated me now. I had to leave where I was living, one of the reasons being that I wasn't social enough online anymore. It was nuts. I began to hate my website. Others began taking credit for my work. So I removed all my work. I didn't remove the forum where I was now unwelcome. I wouldn't do that. I did remove all my articles, words and opinions. Why? Why not? The person who called herself my "mother" told me that she hated me and that I should just go. So I did. Now everyone is mad about that. I cannot please anyone and honestly at this point I am living on my own and do not have to or care that I cannot. These people all liked me for being me. I am still me. Now they hate me because I'm not what they want of me. I'm sorry but I was never anything but myself. I'm still that person, but if others have convinced you that being me is a bad thing, than think it. Believe what you're told. I will never talk shit about these people who gave us a home. Never. I will always be thankful to my friends who made our move possible. But at the same time, I cannot be forced to be something I am not. I learned a lot about people in the last 2 years, and if you thought I was cynical before, haven't a clue now. People are liars, with false fronts, and horrible skeletons in their closets that you don't know about until you're pulling away from the bony hand that's attempting to draw you into something you never knew and never cared to know, much less be a party to.

This is all very cryptic because like I said I will never say a word of bad about anyone who helped us escape New Jersey. I know it was done with love, but it ended up being more about control in the end, and so now that it's over I hope in time to be able to go back and be friends one day, but my heart tells me that's never going to happen as the controll aspects won't have it that way since it's my way and not theirs. Sad, very sad.

I'm sure soon enough since I will not join in the fight, I will be libeled and lies will be printed or even worse, the truth will be twisted to fit the scene. Oh well. Enjoy. I won't join in.

I hope everyone is happy in their life, and that they can wake up and look at themselves in the mirror and smile and know that you are truly who and what you want to be. If not, trust me, do something about it before it's too late and you lose yourself. It can happen.


  1. "the person who called herself my "mother" told me that she hated me and that I should just go."

    That never happened Kim, none of it, not even so close as to have been misconstrued. WTF?

    Barb "The mother" in Kim's Blog