Wednesday, August 12, 2009

awww






Awwww.

Isn't it cute?

What is it?

I don't know.

It has long fingers.




(not haiku)

Wednesday

Today was tolerable. I did have one lady call me a well trained corporate lapdog and then later in the call she barked at me. That was a little odd. I cannot imagine treating a complete stranger in a manner such as that. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people? I also learned how to do a 3 way call on my phone and utilized that with a guest who refused to believe me when I told her that refunds take 3-7 business days to process on credit cards. For some reason she believed her bank.

One of the 3rd shift workers was terminated and arrested today. I don't know why. Considering the cops were involved, I have to guess it was theft related.

I am doing a diet that I just invented yesterday. It's called the Mini Wheats diet. We went to the store yesterday and I hadn't eaten a bite of food all day and I was hooongray! So on the way home when Stan stopped for gas I was foraging through the bags and broke into the strawberry creme frosted mini wheats and just started eating them like crackers. I ate about 6 of them and was full. So full that even the pizza that Stan got for dinner, instead of eating 3-4 pieces (the pieces out here in the Midwest are tiny compared to the big slabs back east so stop looking at me like I'm a fucking garbage disposal) I ate one piece completely, and the 2nd piece I picked at and ending up eating about a 1/3rd of it and giving the rest to Mr. Ito. So when I packed food for work today I stuck some of the mini wheats into a baggie and brought them with a gatorade and a tea, and my normal breakfast cereal with soy milk. I ate my breakfast (faux Golden Grahams) and then throughout the day picked at the bag of wheats and man let me tell you I was perfectly full all day, not even tempted to get a bagel, or lunch, which was great. So, every day (except tomorrow that is) I will be bringing in another baggie of them to stave off hunger and eating shitty fatty food. I say not tomorrow due to the fact that I have my employee of the month lunch with the bosses. So since they're paying I might line my pocketbook with a giant ziplock and order heavy. LOL! Last time I won EOM I had a chicken Caesar salad and it was delish and freaking enormous. I had Tiramisu for dessert and man oh man oh man was that fucking wonderful. I don't know if they are having the same menu or not. I'll report tomorrow what delicious treats I shoved down my gullet.

Oh I just remembered the entire reason that I was posting about the stupid cereal. I found another treat that's rather low fat and good for you (better than pudding or cookie dough) that I like. It's called Popcorn Indiana Buffalo Cheddar. Oh it's good it tastes just like chicken wings without the messy fingers and face. I highly recommend this popcorn.

That's about it. Lots of food information here today.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Um, hello police?





Please send out the officers, I've killed again.


I hate these things. They creep me out. Even if they have a delicious martini.

Tuesday

blah blah work blah safety meeting blah blah another day.

This video makes me believe that the human race has absolutely no future.

My favorite is the chick in the red shirt on the swing talking about being pregnant and enjoying a delicious cigarette. Nothing spells class like a 6 month pregnant smoker.



I swear this is the scariest thing I've seen in a long time.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Spankingly good coffee!






And I bitch about Stan sometimes. LOL I have it great, I've never been thrown over a knee and I don't even know HOW to make coffee!

monday

Decent busy day at work. Stan's not feeling well. I was asked out by a stranger on my way back from the library. Um, no thank you! Dude said I was beautiful, which was nice to hear from a stranger, even though I'm not interested in going out with him.

I'm listening to a audio book, typing this, and feeling like a beachball. I really need to lose weight. I have a doctor's appointment on Friday maybe he'll give me some diet pills. I hate uppers. But I hate being fat moreso. Maybe the new diet pills don't tweak you out like the old ones did.

I'm going to go watch tv. I'm a lazy person. It's so hot outside I don't wanna do shit.

Sunday, August 9, 2009


































How cute is a pussy sized pony????

Squeeeee too cute I want to diaper it and let it live in my house like a dog. CAN YOU IMAGINE? A house pony!! I would love to dress her up and walk her with Mr. Ito through the neighborhood. Then we'd go to Wendy's and hit the drive through and I'd get her a side salad with no dressing to eat in the car on the way home and Mr. Ito would get his single with nothing on it for the ride home and I'd get a single with no onions for the ride home and then when we'd get home we'd all eat watermelon. Horsies, me and Mr. Ito all love watermelon. That would be so cool. I think I would name her thor.

Weekend

Spent the weekend sleeping.

Seriously.

Stan's acting so strange. I am worried about him.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Noisettes

Lisa Rinna


Have you seen the pictures of Lisa Rinna in the latest Playboy? Her lips look so natural.

Thursday

Today was awful at work. I am seriously thinking of leaving. I actually love my job, what I do is different every day, challenging and enjoyable for me. What is NOT enjoyable is having co-workers who don't do, or sometimes even know their job. ie; a front desk clerk who checks someone into their room and doesn't bother to collect money. Then I get yelled at because the overdue balance account is high. Well hello there boss, maybe if your untrained apes at the front desk could possibly remember to ask for money, it wouldn't be. My co-workers for the most part are very nice, but nice doesn't always cut it. Our new manager is so scatterbrained and does not follow up on anything she is asked to do. If I don't do it for her when I see its left unfinished, I'm "not supporting her". Supporting someone and doing their job for them are 2 different animals. Also, my annual review was due in April. I have not received it nor have I received my annual raise. Which is bullshit. I work hard and I deserve my raise. So, today after coming in to a statement where a guest had over $1,200.00 refunded back to her credit card for no reason whatsoever by one of the front desk girls, and now the credit card is not only declining, but SHUT OFF, we are fucked for that money and I refuse to take ownership of this mess. And I said as much today. I'm sorry but the front desk associate who is responsible for this mess should be held accountable for either tracking down the person she gave the money to, or for repaying the resort the money. I just feel like I am getting burned out and that I cannot advance or be further compensated than I am right now. My morale is shit down the toilet, and I am getting mixed messages from my employers; I am employee of the month, yet I cannot have or is it deserve? a raise and review? Don't think I haven't asked. Nobody claims to "know". Well I know and what I know is that you are making me not want to show up and give the 100% which I give daily. Which sucks because I know I am a good employee.

So, I spent this afternoon filling out applications online at different locales, doing different things. I'd like to work somewhere besides hospitality, where everyone has that horrible entitlement way about them.

Stans truck is broken I went to drive it to go to the store and the brake light was on, and the brakes didn't work so well. He came out and looked at it and there's brake juice all over the driveway. I think he was trying to kill me but the light came on too soon. Oh well sorry about that, keep trying. Divorce is cheaper than a trial honey. Since my car cannot be trusted to start, I am stuck at home and I really wanted to go looking at the store. Not shopping, just looking. Oh well I guess this means I'll be stuck home all weekend too. Stan's got a show tomorrow and he's going to try and get his truck towed down to that area so his friend can work on it, and that means he'll be staying down there all weekend. At least there's a soda machine at the gas station down the way, I won't die of starvation. ha ha! I was going to go with him tomorrow but I said if tomorrow at work is anything like today was I'll be in too shitty of a mood and won't wanna go. But now with him needing to spend the weekend down there, I can't go because of the beasties here, I'll need to take care of them. Which makes my decision to go or not to go a lot easier.

Okay I'm off to do some bathtub laundry. Did I mention how classy I am? Actually I think I get the clothes cleaner in the tub, as I soak them for an hour and then scrub each piece by hand. So there. I may be poor and gross and friendless and deserving of hate, but at least I'm clean.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

nightmare

kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it kill it

Wednesday

Oh what a shit day today was. I should have known yesterday was too good to be true.

Today started with the neurologist appointment. That went pretty well but from that point on everything went to shit. I get in to work for the operator saying, "oh she's here now, hold on". Then she gets pissy with me saying there's a call for me. I told her fine send her to my voice mail I haven't even turned on the computer or sat down yet. She says no this lady has been calling all morning and won't leave a message. Well if she won't leave a message it must not be that important. Send her to my voice mail. The operator gets attitude with me and starts bitching and whining to the point where I say FINE and answer the call. The first thing out of this lady's mouth is "Okay bitch, you listen to me..." and with that I slam the phone down and tell the operator that yes now I have spoken with her, is everyone happy now?? I don't understand how an operator can take orders about how she's going to route a call from the person on the other end. My voicemail clearly stated I would be in at 2pm and I was there 2 hours early. Leave a fucking message. And when you do get to speak to someone who is 2 hours early to work, don't let the 2nd word out of your mouth be insulting and rude. They'll slam the phone down on your ass.

The rest of the day went about the same as the first call, a man threatened to come back to the resort and "straighten out is bill on my ass", then called me a motherfucker and also got hung up on, another bitch who can't add called and told me I was purposely and personally 'fucking up her bank account', when I asked her please not to cuss at me when I'm trying to assist her, she decided the proper answer to this request would be to go, "oh for fucks sake" and I hung up on her ass too. I was/am in no mood to deal with entitlement whores who expect me to figure out their personal finances and be abused while doing so. The man who called me the antichrist last week called again today and I just laughed and deleted his message. Yeah, sorry, just no dude, no. I'm not going to call you back for more abuse. I did tell my manager who he also called the antichrist about his call and she laughed and told me to delete it. We had a good laugh because I already had.

My health company (the mega-lo corporation of all the different doctors, surgeons, ect) is starting up a new weight loss program. I was all excited and wanted to join it, it had group meetings, a low calorie meal plan, medication if needed and surgery if needed. Well I just looked at the website and of course it's in fucking Madison. I am not driving that far to go sit around with a bunch of other fatasses and feel bad about myself. I would do this if I didn't have to drive 45 minutes each way. Dammit. See this is just how my day is going.

I'm thinking of going to bed and starting over fresh tomorrow. One highlight of today is that I looked fierce in my black asymmetrical hem skirt, a cute purple/violet design dyed shirt, and my black slingbacks. Oh I had to cover my arm shame with a sweater while in the pubic (typo but it stays) eye. Rowr! I love getting dressed in a way that makes me feel a little bit better about myself. I matched my eyes to the shirt and shimmered away with the MAC stuff my sissy bought me. :) I'm trying to grow my eyelashes and I am so tempted to try the new medical drops that are supposed to help with this. In the meantime I am using a topical brush on stuff. I honestly don't even know if I need this stuff, but you gotta admit having big fluffy no mascara needed brushable eyelashes is a great thing! Oh well enough of me being vain.

The one other shining spot of the day was the delicious dinner that Stan made. mussels (first time we've ever had those since moving to WI), NY Strip steaks on the grill and yummy local asparagus with hollandaise sauce. Yum! Man it was good. I could not finish it and I am still thinking of going to sleep now so I can wake up earlier eat the rest of it for breakfast. Thank you so much Schtanley!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Prepare for Liftoff!


MOOBS AHOY!

OH MY GOD IT'S COMING TOWARDS US!!

That's a Kim joke, I say there are 3 different kinds of fat people, one like me, just fat, another like oh shit hide the snickers, here she comes, and the last is OH HOLY SHIT ITS COMING AT US GET IN THE CAR!!!

This dude is in the 3rd category. Definitely what with those salad plate sized nipples, can you imagine the smell under his titties? Cheese, multi-vitamins and Pam spray.

I keep picturing him pressing himself up against a clear glass sliding door, just pressing all that mess up against the glass and the mental picture is just ghastly. And I cannot stop picturing it. What the fuck is wrong with me? Stop looking at me like that.

Tuesday

Well today was simply a lovely day!

Work was nice, except for a select few idiots. One was so funny I have to share. She was angry because her debit card had been authorized, which caused her account to go negative. (Here's a clue, don't vacation if you do not have a spare $50). When she checked in, she signed the registration pad that states we are going to authorize her card. It's standard procedure in any resort or nicer hotel. She was angry and stated nobody told her about it. I stated the front desk associates usually don't verbally alert the guests since like I said, it's clearly stated on the registration pad that you read and sign before checking in. She stated that this was a terrible thing, and it was discriminatory and racist. Um, whoa, racist? Do you know what race I am because I haven't a clue what you are ma'am. She stated that yes it is discriminatory because not all people can read. Well ma'am even if "a person" cannot read, they still are required to sign it, and if they cannot read I would hope they would either have a friend to assist them with the reading, or that they would oh, ASK the associate what it says before signing? I told her I've assisted other guests who didn't have their glasses and couldn't make out the words before, and it's not an uncommon practice for the front desk to do that. Because by signing, which ma'am, you did, you state that you A) read the information above and B) agreed with it. So, even if you did not or could not read, you signed stating you understood and agreed. So, I apologize that you have seven $45.00 overdraft fees on your account, but I cannot do anything about refunding those charges as I have your signature stating that you understood and agreed that we would authorize your Visa debit card. Sorry. The guest then called me a name (if you're curious, she called me a motherfucker) and hung up on me. I was about to say that I could call her bank and plead her case for her (many banks are a lot more receptive of removing overdraft fees if the merchant calls and explains and expedites the authorization removal) but she blew that by losing her temper. Also I would have suggested a different bank, because my bank sucks ass and they only charge $25 for overdrafts.

So then after work I came home and picked up a free grocery bag full of magnets that I scoured from Craigslist. I split them up into "awful" and "awful but keepable". My desk is surrounded on one side with a giant metal cabinet so I'm bringing them to work to display there so jazz up the joint. The others I'm taking to work to distribute to my coworkers. I do that with a bunch of free magazines that I don't like. I have a shit ton of stuff that I've got bagged up and ready to go.

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment at 1130am, but I'm not sure where. oh, never mind I just got the reminder call and it's in Portage. I was hoping it was in Baraboo as that is closer to my work. Poop! Eh, whatchagonnado? I'm rather nervous about this since I'm finding out the results of all my MRI/MRA/CAT Scan and bloodwork from when I had the mini stroke thing. I asked when they called if the results were okay and the person said they wouldn't tell me but I should get to the doctor's office to find out asap, Oh, great....that's comforting! So tomorrow I find out. I now have to figure out if I should go in to work first, I'm considering it but I'm also considering not going. LOL I'm so lazy.

I went to Goodwill after work today because tonight at midnight I get my paycheck and I can afford some new clothes, Well new to me! Actually 3 of the shirts I bought have tags on them, NY and Co, one is $69.99 and the other is $79.99. Not bad for six bucks for both! :) I also got 3 cute skirts to go with the shirts, 3 drinking glasses, a cereal bowl, a Canon T50 SLR camera (for $.99, I thought it was mismarked but nope, a really nice 35mm camera for a buck) and a beautiful magenta twinset. All for forty bucks. Not bad huh? I thought it was a great deal.

Hope that anyone who reads this had as nice of a day as I have.

Monday, August 3, 2009

What that's not the father of the bride?




Best wishes on a long & prosperous marriage!

that and jogging shorts in the snow.

Monday

Wow today was a busy day. I did however find out that I got employee of the month again. Really? I honestly can't believe it. I do work hard at work but I don't think I deserve it 2x.

It's hot here. Today's the 2nd day with AC on for the summer. It's probably cool enough out now, but it's a pain in the ass to take out the unit from the window. So it'll stay until whenever Stan takes it out.

Nothing much honestly to discuss, just had a normal day, my car won't start, and if it doesn't start tomorrow I don't know what I'll do since Stan has places to go and things to do and I can't use his truck. And I have to go to work tomorrow since on Wednesday I have to leave early due to my visit to the Neurologist to find out if I had a stroke or if I have a brain tumor or what the fuck is going on with my hands.

I got my skin-it today that I saved up coke points for. It's cute and looks adorable on my computer. I love getting free stuff for picking soda caps out of the garbage at work. :)

Also I got a shit ton of magazines. I keep taking them to work to give them away but I am thinking of taking them to my doctors office since their magazine selection is very painfully bad.

Maybe tomorrow I will feel like dressing. Today I did not feel up to it and wore a pullover shirt with a pull up skirt and fancy flip flops. I looked okay but I feel like I should look BAM good since I am the only one in my dept allowed to wear regular clothes that I buy and choose. That's a big responsibility and I don't need to look like I'm in jammies, yanno? Thankfully the GM is out in Sandusky, Ohio and was not in today. The MOD was my friend and he wouldn't care if I came in there in sweats, as long as he didn't have to deal with the people that I do, he'd be happy. But the GM will be back eventually and I need to get out of this bum slump that I've been in lately. Shopping usually cures that, and payday is Wednesday, so maybe I can afford a trip to my own personal Macys (aka the Goodwill) this week. I'll have to talk to my personal banker, Stan to make sure I can swing a trip. Its been about a month since I went.

Happy Monday! I can't wait to watch the new True Blood, but I'm holding out for a night when I'm more awake.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Walk like a man

Sunday

Happy Sunday! It's the day of the Lord Hallelujah! Praise him!

Okay, back to the reality of my blog. The only religious programming you will get here is good old Pastor Kerney Thomas:



I hope that everyone is holding their personal prankerchiefs while they're reading this ecoli bola loshow blog. Sorry I broke into tongues there for a second. I bet nobody's back hurt's anymore either. I wish I could do something for Stan, like rob a pharmacy, since he's out of medicine until the 4th.

Anyway I spent my day around the house jacking off. Not literally but you know, just doing a whole bunch of nothing but staying busy doing it. I have to work tomorrow and I wanted to dye my hair this weekend but it has not occurred yet. Oh well. I'll just go in ugly as usual.

I hope everyone is having a lovely day and had a great weekend. :)

Saturday, August 1, 2009

huh?



Whatever is going on here, I don't like it.

1:52 dude goes mmmmmm and my soul dies a little.